Somebody pushes back on your plan and suddenly you're talking faster.

More context. More slides. You're answering before they've even finished the question.

I watch really good Directors do this all the time.

And I know that speed from the inside. It comes from caring. You did the work, you're ready and you want them to see it.

But from across the table, that speed can read as rattled.

Calm looks pretty ordinary from the outside.

– Somebody asks a hard question and you don't answer immediately.
– Sometimes you ask a question back before you start explaining.
– Sometimes just "Let me think about that."

You let somebody finish, even when you already know where they're going.

And you don't start talking faster just because the meeting got harder.

Nobody writes "she talks too fast when somebody pushes back."

You hear something much vaguer later. "I'm just not sure she's ready yet."

I wasn't born calm. Years ago a meditation teacher told me I could do this.
I laughed. No way. Not me.

But after practice, lots of it, something changed.

One day a leader was being a complete jerk to me. Normally my stomach would tighten and my anger would rise. Instead I just watched, thinking: “hmmm, something must be going on for him today.”

No emotional spiral. No defensiveness. Just clarity and control.

I used to think calm like that was a personality. Turns out it's a skill.

And you can start really small.

When you feel yourself speed up, slow the next sentence down. Just that one sentence. The content doesn't have to change at all.

🔖 Save this for 10 minutes before your next hard meeting.