I was labeled “Bull in a China Shop.”
My male colleague got promoted for the same behavior.

The feedback?
"You need to soften your approach."

I spent months second-guessing every decision, diluting my voice, and watching opportunities slip by.

Here's what I wish every woman leader knew about navigating vague feedback 👇

When you get vague or gendered feedback, you have the power to redirect the conversation toward specifics that actually help you grow.

👉 How to Transform Vague Feedback into Career Fuel:

🚩 When they say: "Be more collaborative"
🟢 You ask: "Which stakeholder relationships need strengthening, and what would success look like?"

🚩 When they say: "You're not ready yet"
🟢 You ask: "What measurable milestones would show you I'm ready?"

🚩 When they say: "You're overthinking things"
🟢 You ask: “Can you walk me through how you’d approach this decision?”

🚩 When they say: "Don't be so emotional"
🟢 You ask: “What’s the best way to channel passion so it drives results and connection?”

🚩 When they say: "You're too aggressive"
🟢 You ask: “Can you share a moment when my approach had an unintended impact?”

🚩 When they say: "You need more executive presence"
🟢 You ask: “What behaviors signal ‘executive presence’ to you?”

🚩 When they say: "Soften your communication style"
🟢 You ask “How can I balance approachability with authority in my communication?”

The shift?
You're not accepting the label.
You're mining for actionable intelligence.

Every vague critique is a chance to show strategic thinking.

You deserve feedback that helps you grow, not feedback that makes you shrink.