This leadership stat really hit me:
96% consider themselves good listeners…
But 12% feel their employer genuinely listens.

Professor Judi Brownell from Cornell University gives us some context on why this happens.

“Listening is critical as you come into an organization but speaking is more important mid-career because you’re influencing through your ideas.

And then as you go into senior management, listening once again becomes really important.”

Her LAW of listening framework helps us open to listening:
Listening = Ability + Willingness

↓↓
Here’s 30 phrases to improve your ability:

▻ To Understand Their Perspective:

1. What’s on your mind right now?
2. What feels most important to you about this?
3. How are you feeling about this situation?
4. What would you want me to understand that might not be obvious?
5. What’s been weighing on you lately?

▻ To Clarify and Go Deeper:

1. Can you tell me more about that?
2. What did you mean when you said...?
3. What’s underneath that frustration/concern?
4. What would success look like to you here?
5. What’s not being said that might be important?

▻ To Explore Motivations and Drivers:

1. What’s driving this decision for you?
2. What do you hope will happen next?
3. What are you trying to protect or achieve?
4. What would make this feel like a win for you?
5. What’s the risk you’re most concerned about?

▻ To Uncover Roadblocks or Tensions:

1. Where are you feeling stuck?
2. What’s making this feel harder than it needs to be?
3. Is there anything you feel like you can’t say out loud yet?
4. What’s one thing that’s slowing you down?
5. What’s something that used to work—but isn’t working anymore?

▻ To Show Support and Build Safety:

1. How can I support you better right now?
2. What do you need from me that you’re not getting?
3. What would make this conversation feel more useful for you?
4. Is there anything you’re holding back that you’d like to share?
5. What’s one thing you wish leaders understood better?

▻ To Encourage Ownership and Growth:

1. What do you think is the next right step?
2. If you were coaching someone else through this, what would you tell them?
3. What’s something you learned from this that surprised you?
4. What would you try if you knew you wouldn’t fail?
5. What’s a stretch opportunity you’d be excited to take on next?

Now are you willing?